Turning Over A New Leaf

Goodness me, so many new changes happening around here. Some good, some bad, and some that ended up just plain ugly, all almost completely unpredictable. Still is, but I’m learning how to deal with it better so I’m not so taken back by whatever happens next. Although to be honest, the situations in which I find myself in—whether by my own choice or not—seems to be getting worse somehow. All in which left me filled with harmful emotions that nearly took me to the edge of the abyss. What could be the cause of my emotional distress? Well it has to do with the one word that I’m pretty sure no kid ever wants to hear…

Divorce

Unfortunately, I’ve been dealing with this for about six months. I know that all that has happened is something that I can never erase from my mind because it was far too traumatizing, but I want to be able to go about my valuable time without having to remember the specific day where it went down hill. I sadly remember everything from the day, to the time, where I was, what was said, and how I felt (this I especially want to forget), otherwise I end up in a sort of depressed state for a day or so.

As to what happened, I may tell you guys about it, once it’s not so much of a sensitive subject. But it certainly led to far too much fighting than usual, nasty words shouted left and right, and often…oh I won’t get to the last part. Every now and then I let myself have a good cry to kind of get it out, and it helps in so many ways. How I can describe how I’m handling this, you could say I am sort of grieving for the things I lost. No more can my family be together like we had been before and it honestly leaves this terrible pain inside. Sure we were never the greatest family, but when it came to the fun times they seemed pure and real to me. Now that I look back it seems like it’s been nothing more than a illusion, I was naïve and blind to the reality underneath the good.

So I got that out. Now things are slowly(?) getting better, I finally got away from my old house—too many bad memories from a while back—and into a new house. Granted it is a bit small but it’s nice and perfect in a way. I actually plan on making a little video log and give a little tour of the place. I don’t know how many people would actually watch it but it’s worth a shot. :D

Let’s see what else…well…I got moved into American History Honors now. Same teachers just 1st and 3rd got switched. Other than that, that is all and once again I am posting just as the bell rang. XD

<3