Another happy free day in Teachers Aid, this would be the second day now. Of course now on Fridays the school sets up a sound system and music is played throughout the courtyard, which makes the day more up lifting in a way. I wish though they would have a bit more of the classical rock feel, but it’s more like the stuff you hear on the radio these days. That’s why I like to go to one of my favorite teachers room, the cool Mr. O’Grady, because he has the most AWESOME playlists of classic rock I know of. I like to stroll by his room on the way to my Environmental Science class and just hang out there until the bell is close to sounding off. Sometimes he gives me little snacks, things from Jolly Ranchers to green grapes, enough said.
As it is even day here, I already went through my English 2 class. I’m starting to think that I need to readjust my sleep schedule a bit better, for I sort of fell asleep when we were reading ‘The Crucible’(one of my favorite plays). In addition to reading, we have a project to do on it. Let’s just say with that…
The people in my group SUCK (expect one person).
How it works is that there are four tables in the class and each table is to work together on whatever we were assigned for the project (there are four ‘groups’, each a different topic related to the play). My group is more about when Communism was a major problem then, since the situation at the time was fairly similar to the chaos in Salem. We each—there are six people in my group including me—are assigned different jobs; those looking up information, those (me) writing the important information so we can turn it into a PowerPoint, looking for pictures, and so on. And basically now, the project rests on the shoulders of me and one other person who actually wants a good grade on this.
Is it honestly too much to ask that we work together and get this damn thing done right? One person hardly shows up in the class half the time (whether their reasons are I don’t pry), and everyone else mostly just bitched about things and people around the school. I tried to get them to work, but they just wouldn’t, there was only one more person who actually made an effort to looking up information (if you can really call it EFFORT). And the person who was suppose to be doing the PowerPoint? Bailed on us.
Even if we have three weeks to finish this thing, at the hands of two people with other school work it might be a close call. I just honestly hate how people don’t want to make the commitment to the work when it counts for them as well, especially when it’s in one of my favorite classes.
Which brings me now to my Chorus class. It’s usually after my 1st or 2nd period classes that I actually wake up in a sense. We start off with either sight reading music or simple warm ups, then proceed to working on the songs we planned to sing for our concert. The songs are varied from one Japanese song, to several Christmas songs since the concert is in December. This class—as fun as it is—I take seriously. My buddy of the class is sort of becoming my instructor for proper singing presentation, and I am improving quite a bit I must say. I can hopefully get up a video of some funny moments around the class and school as well. I may even be doing a solo, exciting no?
And now…oh crap, bell just rang AGAIN. My timing is quite a jumble. More soon~
<3
Friday, October 8, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
At A Loss
Well it’s about 11:30 now….I’m back at my mom’s house and well mom and sister are gone (now it’s midnight and they came back). To be honest I didn’t really expect them to go out this late, even if it was to someone’s house that’s about 10 minutes by drive. Of course my brother didn’t want to stay here with me, so he called my dad (no surprise there) and had him come over and get him. They just left, leaving me with a 5$ bill and a feeling of solitude.
And I don’t even care anymore.
For now almost seven months (tomorrows the 7th month anniversary, woot) these sorts of events have become far too easy to predict that it’s almost funny. No one will listen to me when I send out simple fair warnings and in the end all I can do is shake my head in a sad way and think “What’s the point anymore?”
I first wanted to move in with my mother because I felt that if I stayed around to help out she might straighten up a bit. I’m staring to think now it might have been a mistake. Though I’m somewhat regretting it now, nothing really seems to be improving around here, only falling more short. Was it because I thought I could TRY and do good, or my stupidity got in the way of my judgment? Did I honestly think that things would really improve?
I won’t go into the details of what happens but trust me; they would annoy/upset anyone with a good head on their shoulders. I think mine is rotting because I feel like a bad one.
Anyway
With that, I’ve been even tossed feelings of guilt about moving in with her, curtsey of my father. For weeks when we were alone or with my siblings, he would say all kinds of nasty things that sort of scared us then act like nothing is wrong a few minutes later and start joking around. Does that seem right to you? I understand how much he is hurting, but guess what, so are the rest of us. It has affected him really bad, but he does not need to express this sort of behavior around us.
Either way, I shouldn’t bother complaining. I don’t really have anywhere else to go otherwise, I’m forced with ‘either or’ for parents. I do appreciate the support I have been getting from everyone, but…is it too much to wish that someone would get me away from all of this?
I could say more, but I suck giving saying what I mean sometimes. All I can do is ask for advice: What else can I do to make things better for myself?
<3
And I don’t even care anymore.
For now almost seven months (tomorrows the 7th month anniversary, woot) these sorts of events have become far too easy to predict that it’s almost funny. No one will listen to me when I send out simple fair warnings and in the end all I can do is shake my head in a sad way and think “What’s the point anymore?”
I first wanted to move in with my mother because I felt that if I stayed around to help out she might straighten up a bit. I’m staring to think now it might have been a mistake. Though I’m somewhat regretting it now, nothing really seems to be improving around here, only falling more short. Was it because I thought I could TRY and do good, or my stupidity got in the way of my judgment? Did I honestly think that things would really improve?
I won’t go into the details of what happens but trust me; they would annoy/upset anyone with a good head on their shoulders. I think mine is rotting because I feel like a bad one.
Anyway
With that, I’ve been even tossed feelings of guilt about moving in with her, curtsey of my father. For weeks when we were alone or with my siblings, he would say all kinds of nasty things that sort of scared us then act like nothing is wrong a few minutes later and start joking around. Does that seem right to you? I understand how much he is hurting, but guess what, so are the rest of us. It has affected him really bad, but he does not need to express this sort of behavior around us.
Either way, I shouldn’t bother complaining. I don’t really have anywhere else to go otherwise, I’m forced with ‘either or’ for parents. I do appreciate the support I have been getting from everyone, but…is it too much to wish that someone would get me away from all of this?
I could say more, but I suck giving saying what I mean sometimes. All I can do is ask for advice: What else can I do to make things better for myself?
<3
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